Are You Spiritually Bypassing? 7 Signs You're Avoiding the Real Inner Work

In the spiritual world, there’s a phenomenon known as spiritual bypassing — the tendency to use spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid facing painful emotions and unresolved issues. While the pursuit of spiritual growth is often seen as a positive and transformative journey, there’s a darker side that many overlook.

As a spiritual guide and healer with over 20 years of practice, I’ve encountered countless individuals who’ve slipped into spiritual bypassing without realizing it. In this article, I’ll explore how suppressing emotions in the name of spiritual progress can actually hinder true healing and growth — and what you can do about it.

What is spiritual bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing is the use of spiritual practices or beliefs to bypass the emotional and psychological work necessary for true healing and growth. The term was first coined in the early 1980s by transpersonal psychotherapist John Welwood in his book Toward a Psychology of Awakening.

Spiritual bypassing, excessive positivity

In essence, it’s a defense mechanism that allows people to escape the discomfort of facing their inner demons and unresolved traumas. Instead of addressing these issues, they use spirituality to transcend or “rise above” them — believing they can reach enlightenment or inner peace without actually acknowledging and processing their pain.

Here’s the fundamental problem: the core challenge in life revolves around identifying and releasing our limiting beliefs and traumas. All spiritual practices — meditation, journaling, sacred music, prayer — are simply instruments to help us achieve this goal. Spiritual bypassing therefore contradicts the very purpose for which our souls entered this life. While it can manifest in different ways, the underlying essence is always the same: the avoidance of difficult emotions and the desire to maintain a positive or spiritual facade.

Why people fall into spiritual bypassing

People often engage in spiritual bypassing when they feel they shouldn’t be experiencing certain emotions. Feelings of anger, jealousy, disgust, or rage can be distressing, and many people feel ashamed or guilty for having them — especially if they see themselves as “spiritual.” They feel these emotions don’t fit the expectations of those around them.

Spiritual bypassing can also serve as a tool to dismiss what others are feeling, which inflates the ego and creates a false sense of superiority. In some cases, it’s even used to silence people about things that have harmed them — instead of allowing them to express their pain, they’re told they’re “being negative.” The result is guilt, shame, and suppressed emotions.

Cultural factors play a role too. The wellness culture’s emphasis on sustained positivity and “toxic optimism” is a significant driver — the idea that you can’t be healthy without “rising above” all negativity. But negative feelings are completely normal and are often signals that adjustments are needed. Ignoring these signals leads to bigger problems down the road.

Signs of spiritual bypassing

Recognizing spiritual bypassing in yourself can be tricky, because it often disguises itself as spiritual progress. Here are the most common signs:

1. Excessive positivity. Focusing only on the positive and dismissing negative emotions and experiences. I’ve met many spiritual seekers who willfully overlook what they don’t like and try to reframe it as a “positive experience” — without actually understanding the underlying life lessons that come with each experience.

2. Intellectualizing emotions. Relying on intellectual understanding rather than truly feeling and processing emotions. This gives temporary relief but solves nothing — and often masks a deep fear of confronting strong negative feelings. The person typically analyzes their emotions from a safe distance rather than allowing themselves to actually feel them.

3. Detachment and escapism. Using spiritual practices to escape from the challenges and responsibilities of everyday life. Some believe that destiny is “cast in stone” as certain spiritual traditions claim, so they conclude they have no responsibility for their lives anymore. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how destiny and life lessons actually work.

4. Judgment and criticism. Believing that spiritual superiority entitles you to judge others who aren’t on the same path. These individuals typically look down on people uninterested in spirituality — ironically, without realizing how high their own judgment belief still scores. When I point this out to them, they often think I have something against them personally!

5. Masking pain with spirituality. Using spiritual practices to suppress deep-seated pain and trauma. For these individuals, the difficult things around them “shouldn’t exist” — they see suffering as a mistake in God’s design rather than as part of the growth process. They typically ask things like “How could God allow this war?” or “How could God let this person die?” without understanding the deeper mechanics at play.

6. Self-righteousness. Being convinced that you hold the ultimate truth about spiritual progress and enlightenment. This is one of the most common forms I encounter in my practice. The person becomes so identified with their spiritual beliefs that any questioning feels like a personal attack.

7. Excessive outward compassion at the expense of inner work. Being entirely focused on serving others while neglecting self-reflection and personal growth. While service is admirable, we’re all part of Creation and need a balance between fulfilling our own needs and those of others. Without inner work, even well-intentioned service becomes another form of avoidance.

The real impact on your growth

While spiritual bypassing may provide temporary relief or a sense of spiritual superiority, it ultimately hinders genuine growth. Unresolved pain and trauma continue to linger beneath the surface, manifesting as repetitive patterns, relationship difficulties, and a persistent lack of fulfillment. The person may feel they’re progressing spiritually, yet their life challenges remain unchanged — or even worsen.

We all know spiritual seekers who seem isolated in their “ivory tower” of spirituality, preaching things like “Be detached from everything!” or “Don’t care about what happens in the world — focus only on your spiritual progress!” These are classic examples of spiritual bypassing, and the isolation it creates disconnects them from the richness of authentic human experience.

In my 20+ years of spiritual teaching and healing, I’ve met countless spiritual seekers who wanted to skip straight to higher spirituality without facing their limiting beliefs and traumas. I explained that their progress would be very limited — if any — without releasing the subconscious beliefs holding them back.

I once met a spiritual seeker with many years invested in spiritual practices who had even written a couple of books on the topic, but who struggled in daily life. When looking into his soul and body energies, I found he had embraced spirituality to reach a feeling of superiority and to push aside his struggles in daily life. After I pointed this out to him and helped him accept the truth with humbleness — and also helped him reconnect with life itself — things changed remarkably quickly for him.

True transformation requires embracing the full spectrum of our humanity and doing the inner work — there are no shortcuts.

Spiritual in "ivory tower"

How to overcome spiritual bypassing

Overcoming spiritual bypassing requires willingness, honesty, and above all — humbleness. In a world as ego-driven as ours (including in spirituality), humbleness is unfortunately the quality nobody likes to embrace. Yet it’s the cornerstone of true spiritual progress and the only genuine path to enlightenment.

Here are the key approaches that help:

1. Cultivate self-awareness. Develop an honest awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and patterns of behavior. Regularly check in with yourself, reflect on your motivations, and be open to feedback from others — including from a spiritual guide who can offer objective perspective. Self-awareness always begins with humbleness.

2. Embrace discomfort. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable emotions, allow yourself to fully experience them with awareness — looking at and understanding them rather than pushing them away. Sit with the discomfort, explore its underlying causes, and seek support if needed. Remember that these uncomfortable feelings are not obstacles to your growth — they’re the very material you need to work with.

3. Do the 'shadow' work. Actively explore and integrate the parts of yourself you’ve rejected or denied. This means releasing limiting beliefs and traumas through journaling, therapy, energy healing, or working with a guide who can help you see what you’re avoiding.

4. Integrate spirituality with practical inner work. Recognize that spirituality and psychology are not mutually exclusive. Combining spiritual practices with therapeutic techniques — or working with a spiritual guide who addresses both dimensions — provides a holistic approach to genuine healing.

5. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness as you navigate this process. Growth takes time, and setbacks are natural. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s honest engagement with your own spiritual journey.

Moving forward

Unveiling the shadow side of spiritual bypassing is an essential step toward authentic spiritual growth. By acknowledging and addressing the tendency to bypass difficult emotions, we open ourselves to profound healing and transformation. It’s through the integration of all aspects of ourselves — light and dark, comfortable and uncomfortable — that we experience true spiritual evolution.

If you recognize some of these patterns in yourself, don’t worry — awareness is always the first step. I’d encourage you to seek a spiritual guide or master who can give you honest feedback about where you stand as a soul and body. You can also book an online spiritual session with me to explore what might be holding you back.

And above all — don’t forget humbleness!